Friend Makin’ Mondays: Randomly Getting to Know You

My friend Kenlie with All the Weigh is going to be taking a bit of a blogging break and to keep FMM going, she's enlisted another blogger. I'm excited to read Sarah's blog Losing Weight and Having Fun.

Getting Out of My Comfort Zone

I used to be the type of person who was uncomfortable in new situations. Meeting new people was difficult because I was always afraid if they would like me, which stems from the insecurity I had due to low self-esteem and a string of bad relationships. I was absolutely convinced that things would turn out wrong and I would be humiliated. It took hitting the lowest low to allow me to finally decide I wanted to get out of my comfort zone in the first of several ways.

Joining Weight Watchers was a big step for me. A healthy lifestyle and weight loss journey is not something to be taken lightly and it was a big deal for me to go to meetings and open up to other people. However, once I realized what meetings were all about and that it was a safe place, I really came alive and was very vocal. I even said once or twice that once I became a lifetime member, I'd love to be a leader. The girl who was practically scared of her own shadow would never have said that.



Similarly, going to the gym had always been a huge struggle for me. I knew what it was liked to be mocked, looked at strangely, and talked about because of my weight. I just assumed that it was going to be more of the same if I tried to go to the gym. Boy, was I surprised. While the gym I joined was frequented by a lot of bodybuilders and bros, I was pleasantly surprised at the attitude that everyone had. It was very inclusive and I felt at ease going there, except when I had to shank someone in order to get one of the treadmills with a TV.



Slowly but surely I started slipping away from my primary friend group. I had other friends here and there, but I'm talking about the people that I hung out with practically every day. I thought that we were close and we were at one point. But at some point things took a turn for the really bad and by the end of 2011, I was basically edged out of the group. I'm not saying that I didn't contribute, but there were a lot of mountains made out of molehills on all sides. Regardless, I hit a low point and thought that I would never recover. That was until I was invited to a Halloween party.

I never received party invitations. I didn't really know anyone who could invite me, save a friend that I stayed in pretty close contact with from college. This was different, though. This was all new people and it was a Halloween party. I came in straight from a late party at work and jumped right in to the action. I knew the hosts from Twitter, but had never met them. I tried not to talk too much so as not to embarrass myself, but when people started talking to me, I began to open up. And you know what? I had a good time. I put out of my mind the things that were causing me pain at the time and I just genuinely allowed myself to have fun. I had so much fun that I went to another party that the friend hosted and soon started hanging out with them fairly regularly to play board games and video games, and also to see movies. It was great.

Similarly, I met someone whom I now consider one of my best and truest friends because I put myself out of my comfort zone. I started working a new job and went back to school while this whole friend mess was really coming to a head and one evening in December of that year I was feeling particularly crummy and wanted some frozen yogurt. A college friend had posted on Facebook that she would be going to froyo and I said that I may swing by after work. I casually asked a girl that I work with if she liked frozen yogurt and if she had tried a new place that had opened up just that year. We decided to go and had a marvelous time. I probably word vomited way too much that evening as we stood in the parking lot on a cold December night, but it was nice to spend time with someone, even if you didn't know if you would do it again. Turns out, we would continue to hang out fairly regularly until I made the decision to move to Cincinnati. We talk almost every day some medium whether it be text, Twitter, or email. Even though we're miles apart, I know that she's constantly there for me. And that's an amazing feeling. I don't know if we would have hung out if I hadn't asked her if she liked frozen yogurt. (For some reason, I sang that in my head like "Do you wanna build a snowman?")



I made other great friends in this way, going to a weekly movie night, hanging out (and eventually working) at the local game shop, going to live art. I became a social butterfly. I met a lot of fantastic people and really found myself growing. In addition, I made myself do things like going to the movies or to get coffee by myself and it was liberating. The point is, if we don't get out of our comfort zones, no matter what they may be, if we don't put ourselves out there, then we can't expect to grow as people.

Edit: After thoughtful consideration, I wanted to add that I am now friends again with several people with whom I had parted ways. Putting yourself out there, trying to make amends is as much getting out of your comfort zone as trying to meet new people or experience new things. It's a big deal to admit that there was a problem before and to move forward to a more harmonious future. I'm extremely grateful for the opportunity to reconcile with them and I am so happy that we're close again. It sure does mean a lot to know that we've all grown and matured as people and can maintain a healthy and positive friendship.

Out of My Head

Once upon a time I had a blog called Tasha Gets Healthy, which still exists in a limited form on Wordpress. It where all of my thoughts and progress related to my weight loss journey lived and I was moderately consistent with it over the course of a year and a half. It took me that long to lose 100 pounds and I was incredibly elated and proud. I maintained that success for a few months, but I started yoyo-ing and have been on an upward yo-yo since the beginning of 2013. So, for a year, I've been dealing with the fact that I have gained back 40 of my 100 pounds lost.